Past few weeks, I’ve been having challenges in communicating my thoughts through this 10 year blog.
I felt as if I’ve lost my muse. While at the same time navigating the changes happening within and without.
As if all masks crumbling down. I have no use for sugar-coated words nor the approval of readers but authenticity.
Finding the truth in what I’m truly seeing, feeling and experiencing.
I felt awkwardness lingers as my fingers started to carve their own stories.
Plain and boring. But sweet. Sweet truth.
Perhaps this is a new peaceful feeling I’ve gained. Serenity unlike any other because I’m no longer searching for “entertainment”.
Wherever I go, I do see clarity. I fumbled in its fogginess at times withholding the past for fear of this unfamiliar territory.
Undressing my layers of identities I thought I was associated my being with.
- Physical
- Purpose
- Writing
- Family
- Travel
- Food
- Memories
- Shoulds
- Religion
- Love
And at this point, I thought I was near somewhere. Not as enlightened to attain nirvana but hopefully better than I used to be.
I sense I was in between where I used to be and where I wanna be.
And it feels alright to be where I am. Does not seem to matter. There was no plan of arriving nor departing.
So while I’m still awkward with my words, I do my best to continue blogging in hope I can capture these subtle changes. For me to reflect and understand.
I believe I’m going through some kind of change. Perhaps soul blueprint or a new downloading of some spiritual program within. To prepare me on what’s coming. Or perhaps just another shift of a new age.
I only blog when I felt the urge to share. If not, the words will rest wildly on the lines of a journal I kept with me.
Perhaps, you as a reader knew me better than me. Just glide along with me and read between the lines with your heart.